TRUSTING OR BEING TAKEN FOR GRANTED?

Channelling #116

RM asks: What is the difference between trusting someone and being taken for granted?

GOD:

    This is an excellent question and one that should be considered by all in relationship; however it is crucial that you understand that this issue must first begin in your relationship with yourself.

    The only real thing that you must trust in, is remembering that your soul, your true essence, comes from me and thus you are an extension of me. So know that you can trust my guidance in life, because we are ONE spiritual being.

    Truly trusting your life to me, as opposed to your frightened ego mind gives you great freedom when relating to others around you, especially intimately. The most important question you should be asking is “Where should I direct my trust?” And the only answer is, toward your God self; for if you do not trust yourself to look out for you on the very deepest levels, then you are incapable of trusting anyone else. If you truly trust our connection, then truly trust yourself and listen to your gut, to my inner voice of intuition and not your head, then it is much more difficult to choose the wrong person for you in the first place.

    Often at the start of a new relationship something nags you intuitively but your rational mind makes excuses for the object of your desire or friendship and says that there must be a reason for this unacceptable behaviour, I can help, I can change this. Often this inner voice is me talking to you, and how loudly do I have to scream at you for you to hear, that this is not the person I would choose for you? And because you do not trust me, you are suffering. It is actually impossible to truly trust another person for this only means that you trust them not to do what you do not want them to do, especially when you are apart. But no one can control what another does, thinks, feels or is driven by.

    When another’s behaviour hurts you, you discuss this. But it should not be a discussion of your not being able to trust them, but a discussion of your observation that they cannot trust themselves to uphold the promises made within the relationship. If this happens it is a learning opportunity to say, “I did not listen to my inner guide in choosing this person in my life and I will learn to not do this again.” This is about learning to forgive yourself for an inappropriate choice and then learning to trust yourself again. I have created in you something divine, yet your fearful ego mind would have you see yourself as unworthy of being treated as something precious. This is not about the other person, other than their showing you where you have yet to develop a deeper understanding of what honours you and what does not. It is also about them learning to trust themselves again to choose ‘correct and agreed upon behaviours’ within the relationship, if you still accept them in your life. The ego casts blame and judgement on another when they make a mistake that appears to hurt you, how dare they behave in a manner that you did not expect! But the heart forgives this and understands the human frailty – however, this does not mean that hurtful behaviour is to be continually tolerated, for it is not. But it is helpful to try to understand what triggered a situation, for everyone has shadows from their past. It is thus for your heart to be true to itself and realize that this situation is not your truth and that it does not work for you. It is your choice to walk away; forgiving the other but seeing that they are not what supports your path and not who I would choose for you in your life, because your love, trust, value of yourself and the principles that you live by, mean more to you than anyone or anything.

    This will also lay to rest the query about being taken for granted for only the ego mind puts a price tag on love and says, “When I do something loving for you, you must reciprocate appropriately or behave the way I wish you to or you are taking me for granted.” Do not misunderstand, this is not to say that poor treatment and inconsideration is to be tolerated for it is not. But it is really your anger at yourself for allowing such treatment that has caused your indignation. For this is projected on to another’s face with the words, “You took me for granted.” Again I would say that another cannot take you for granted, you can only take yourself for granted by allowing another to treat you poorly. What is really happening is that you are judging yourself harshly for not listening to my voice within you that first said NO, to this person being in your life.     

    Truly when you come from an unconditionally loving place you do not consider that you are being taken for granted, but you will simply notice from a place of inner strength, that this person is not the right fit for you, for the balance of give and take is unequal, thus you choose to move on.

    Freely giving is like a gardener who walks through the soil sowing seeds. The gardener must know what type of plant he wishes to grow and have and thus is carefully selective in choosing which seeds he holds in his hand. You are the gardener and your relationship is the plant, so choose your seeds carefully. So in relationship must you balance this love with discernment that another is simply not the one for you because the growing conditions are wrong, you need a moist environment to thrive in and they need a dry one, so they are not your partner. There are givers and there are takers and it is honouring and trusting of yourself to know the correct balance that works for you because you deserve the partner that helps you grow and thrive. It is your sacred trust to know whether you are a water lily, an orchid, a daisy, a sunflower or a cactus. Those who do not understand this often select a weed to have a relationship with and the result is being choked out of your natural environment, your comfort zone. Thus in relationship matters you must know yourself deeply, know how much you need to watered and then find the right pot in which to plant your seed of relationship.