HOW SHOULD I HANDLE MY DIFFICULTY WITH AUTHORITY?

Channeling #27

Question:

How should I handle my difficulty with authority?

GOD:

Have patience and compassion with regards to your value and the level you’re at in life, for you were conditioned to be disillusioned and unclear in your formative years. When you look back you will see where your fear of authority came from and your lesson has been to transform this into becoming your own authority.  Your thoughts are often judgments on how you are not supporting yourself and you project this onto the prominent and dominant figure that your inner child seeks parenting from. As long as you hold judgment around anyone in this regard, you are in error, for you are no longer that child. The inner child within all of my creations, wishes for the loving, nourishing arms and open heart of mother.

             See where the authority issue is a reflection of where you seek to be authoritative, and when someone appears to push you – you are both in a struggle for control yet you are both simply answering the heart's yearning for love. But love, when demanded from an external source and not allowed from true source is not love, but a bargain that has been struck.

The ego never dies so it must be recognized, made accountable for its bad behaviour and lovingly rocked back to the place in the heart place where love can give it a new job description.  When anyone knocks at the door of a heart that has been hurt, the shield that guards the inner fortress interprets attack and its protection intensifies. Often this gate is so reinforced that love cannot enter in.

 Christ says, that he knocks gently on the door of our heart, which is the protective pericardium, for then it feels safe enough to open out into the multi-petaled lotus flower. Then can we glimpse the terrified child that the ego would starve to death and we are granted access that we might feed the heart.

The heart is the asylum and sanctuary of the wounded one, and the gifted one. Allowing access will heal, fulfill and integrate you. Softening the heart is feared to be a painful process. It is not. It is the wonder in a baby's eyes, the magic of a dragonfly, the sweetness of a hummingbird, the passion of fire, the gasp of a falling star, and the beauty of an unfolding flower. It is the mist on the moor, the gentle wave lapping at your feet, the glimpse of eternity and the wonder of who you are. Feel this process and fall into it, for within the sacred space of your own heart, lies your true salvation, the voice of the Holy Spirit.

HOW DO I HANDLE MY EGO?

Channeling #26

Question:

How do I handle my ego?

GOD:

Ego is nothing more than the shield of an over-zealous soldier, for behind him hides a frightened child.  You must watch without judgment how it plays the game of seduction while observing and noting its crazy antics.  Then give love and direction to yourself without punishment, as this will teach where further healing must still be done.  If you fail in this, you become the attacker of yourself. You are loved and are becoming known.  Never doubt your worth as I value you.  Relax and be guided for I have left my markers and signposts along your pathway.  These are sent to cushion the road and keep you safe.

It is good to occasionally fast to release toxic emotions, for they remain deep in the tissue memory if there is no cleansing.  This is a test of your strength of spirit to back away from negative influences, which deplete your energy stores.  Be at one with me and at peace with WHO you are, for too long have you lived in self-judgment.

I am most happy with your progress thus far working through difficult tests.  Do not be angry with me, as I have made you perfect while refining you through teaching and testing.  Now live and love beyond the confines of your shadow.  You must allow your soul its rest, yet I require you to stay where my light can be found.  You have muffled true voice and padded true nature for too long.  This does not serve either of us. 

I feel great joy at your patience for you never gave up.  This was required work on your part, but the testing is finished so your regard of life as a constant test must also cease.  This is where ego would fool you.  Play now and relax, find the child within and reside in your heart.  Love, rest and do not perceive others to be judging you either as this would only be in accordance with a distorted view that you created for yourself.

The time for hardness is long past - so be soft.  Be kind to all, especially to yourself.

RELATIONSHIP SEEMS TO ESCAPE ME AND I FEEL ALONE

Channeling #25

Question:

Relationship seems to escape me and I feel alone.

GOD:

Nothing feels so alone as a soul that has lost alignment with the divine.  Much can be said about alignment, as it is fundamental for interconnection of all your parts.  Yes, you were fractured; therefore this journey was chosen to promote strength and integration while becoming whole.  The journey has taken its toll so more rest is required.  Life should be enjoyed and not taken so seriously.

You appear serious and deep while giving the impression of being The Ice Queen, but actually emotions run deep and strong fuelled by a passion that has all but been forgotten.  These are trying times but take heart for I have revealed you are being tested while being protected at the same time.  Remember I provide safety while leading you to another of your own kind.  He must be selected by me so as to understand your sensitivities.  Fear not as his dark side was severely tested and brought into the light.  What matters, is that his heart must strong and his touch genuine.  There is not much to do but wait while we prepare him so you will be his match on many levels then.  There are few who understand you but that is of no consequence.  You need not judge if who you are is enough since contained within is the good of many lifetimes.

Seeing such distress saddens me, but I ask only to remember who you are and from whence you came.  Your journey has been long and your body has been uncomfortable to live in; but your efforts have been sufficient to sustain those times where most would have quit, lost their way and perished.  He will have large and gentle hands, a ready smile and be a silent one.

Respond with feminine softness and be patient. Let him see you blush and hesitate to trust, but clearly show your strength of conviction regarding what you will and will not stand for.  He will respect that as he does you.   The one you can be yourself with is coming and it will be easy, warm and gentle.  You will see, with the right one, it is not hard.

IT OFTEN FEELS THAT I PAY A VERY HIGH PRICE FOR MY LIFE

Channeling #24

Question: I feel empty and hollow and it is a vulnerable and angry place. It often feels that I am paying a very high price for my life.

GOD:  During these times take yourself in to the depth of that stored despair and remember that it is just that - storage. And remember also that it is your ego’s closet, not yours. Your ego has posted your name on the door, it looks like your stuff, but this is a lie aimed at keeping you from finding your truth and jumping into the light and healing. Like cleaning out your closet – you examine each scrap of evidence to determine if it has fulfilled its value to you and if it is time to let it go. But you cannot see that the evidence itself is merely a ploy to distract you from true healing. The more time you spend on this useless evidence, the more your ego likes it.

You must not weep over each article or feel resentment or remorse. You need only calmly determine its value as a lesson to you and discard it.  In this I mean to give it up, not to place it somewhere for safe keeping in case you choose to dig it up and use it to punish yourself yet again.  It may be familiar and you no longer use it, yet still do you have difficulty letting go. This belief in a need for an external identity is a misperception in humans. It takes courage to let go of what you think defines you.

You have chosen to believe that you are losing something instead of seeing that your soul has decided to pull up anchor and sail to a more beautiful harbor. I have created many beautiful inner harbors within you and I know that you long to sail there. You need not struggle to do this – for only in allowing the winds of God and the currents of Destiny to take you will you reach your true destination.

You felt as if many of the ports you sailed into had robbed you and left you emotionally bankrupt. You could not see that you are the jewel and what you have can never stolen, but only polished and made more precious. And have I not always deposited more into your grace bank account? Your overdraft with me is limitless, yet you hoard your perceived meagre funds in fear of a barren time. There will not be one; believe in me and surrender, in every minute if need be, for I am providing you with all that you require in this lifetime.

WHAT CAUSED MY ANGER AND DISILLUSIONMENT ABOUT RELATIONSHIP?

Channeling #23

Question:

I am angry and disillusioned about relationship. I’ve tried to be a good person and feel that I should deserve a wonderful relationship.  What happened to cause this mistrust?

GOD:

Deep in the memory files of Family History lies the core belief that the young girls are the property of the authority figures. Instead of protecting and cherishing the young girl, she was traumatized by this dangerous place and left frightened and mistrustful. She wanted to return home, only was too weak for the journey and truly – where was home? It was no place that she had known!  No matter which path she chose, there was no one there to provide support and safety or to provide illumination from her darkness.

How can one trust when the leaders and caregivers do not demonstrate what it looks like? Trust must not just be earned, first it must be learned.

When a soul chooses a very difficult incarnation it is evidence that a healer is being moulded and great care must be taken to not misinterpret what surrounding events unfold. It is not personal, it is the deepest form of schooling, it is the phoenix rising from the ashes if you would seek to find the jewel and not believe that the ashes are your life.

Summon your spirit home through candlelight rituals and seek atonement, for many are the things that have been held against me and an innocent child.  Cast out these memories. Write them on paper and burn them as they have burned you.  There can be no softness in this regard as you must bring death to this haunting illusion that portrayed something permanent was done to you. The only thing that is permanent is my Love and your soul.

When you look back, this illusion only causes pain - therefore only look forward to let it die.

Something did happen and it was a lesson to be learned.  It appeared something was done to your body, but nothing to YOU.  This will be over once you lay it to rest on the altar of forgetfulness that resides within your heart.  This altar may not be approached idly, offhandedly, or irreverently but only with forgiveness, humility and complete surrender. 

This is the hardest thing for my children to do yet only when you do this, can my God part of you step in and make your life flow easily.

There is a door to my heart, yet the name on the door is YOURS!

When you trust me - you will trust yourself and this is how trust is learned. Do this, and your relationship with yourself will heal. Do this and all of your relationships will be wonderful ones.

WHY ARE WE TOO BLIND TO SEE WHERE OUR ENERGY BLOCKS COME FROM?

Channeling #22

Amahra:

Gayle wants to know what’s causing her energy blocks and also what energies must come through now.

GOD:

All of your apparent blocks are one single underlying block.  It is an ego-constructed divider between you and the truth. Understand that you have been utilizing your blind eyes as protection against pain and death.  Why do you continue to follow the blind one along this path, stumbling on rocks of fear long past? Know that this fear cannot reach forward in time to touch you in the now.  Everyone’s physical body will die, but yours died the death of betrayal in a past life and I tell you it will not die this death again.  That lesson need only be learned once, but your choosing to wear it for a shield is the only thing that keeps it alive in your present life.  The energy that must come forth now is your identity as a powerful seer, a warrior from past times who forged through fear, pushed past enemy lines and risked death in service to his king.  Now you must learn to not charge through and pierce with a bloodied lance, but transform these seeming battles into learning opportunities through using your Magician’s Wand.  Meditate on the Taro Deck’s Magician card. See how his rod points to the ground for he understands this wand is a rod of passage - moving and integrating Divine Energy into the mundane realms of your earthly creation.

Look into the Triple Warmer and Heart Protector in your body’s energy system, as this multi-faceted lotus that nurtures your heart is much stronger than you perceived.  Give up your childish fears, confusion and your questioning why you have not arrived yet. I tell you that there is no yet.  You are there already because it is where you are. The fact that you cannot see this does not mean that it’s not there, but does mean that you are looking in the wrong places for it. You chose your journey and you are the destination.  Already you are doing that for which you were sent, but you underestimate yourself. Your pain is created through judging that you need be somewhere else. The ego loves to play this game with you. Your ego mind would keep you from seeing that you are standing there now, claiming what is yours and setting up shop. Make space for your spirit guide as she is cramped in your place of disbelief and requires more of your headroom. How do you know that the great pain you feel is not her broken heart resulting from your lack of believing in her. Her mental grid has not been freed to guide you, so trust and free it now.

I do not support your fear for it does not exist in Heaven. Ask me to help you see that your fear is not real and develop compassionate for yourself.  You are supported but must claim your space and understand that your place in humanity depends upon the obedience of your boundless spirit.

WHERE HAS MY OPEN & INNOCENT CHILD GONE?

Channeling #21

Amahra:

Why must I push so hard to find the open, innocent little child I used to be?

GOD:

Through your time of healing, you are remembering those jagged places that are still raw. When you push, you touch them too harshly, so they bleed. Touch them softly.

The delicate inner child is close but why should she trust when each poke strikes another portal that opens realms of pain, sadness and dashed hopes and dreams?  She was shocked beyond breath and too shy and frightened to ask for help. Therefore she was always left alone to deal with cuts no one else could see.

As painful as this lesson is, it is the perfect training ground for learning how to heal, be self-sufficient and find inner strength. It taught you what you innately needed to know to help others.

Learn to love this place for it is the foundation stone for what you are and were always meant to be.  A wound always heals with love but unfortunately, love for you equalled the disillusions of sadness, of apologies, manipulation and abandonment.

Keep seeking the truth for in doing so you give these feelings their rightful voice.  A major key shall replace minor keys given voice thus far in the symphony of your Soul.  This Divine Key of Joy will unlock you and subsequently the souls and hearts of those around you.

Take heart literally and learn to swallow your pride when speaking from this beautifully wounded, honest and tearful place. For this place is beyond the games, coping mechanisms, masks and false beliefs and it will bring great returns.  Be gentle with yourself as this starts to easily slide over you like a second skin and becomes the new way of being, a true way of being you.