I OFTEN FEEL SELFISH WHEN TRYING TO PUT MYSELF FIRST.

Channelling  #68

I often feel selfish when trying to put myself first.

GOD:  For what is this journey of life if you are not prepared to travel it? How many opportunities and magical moments have you missed because you were too afraid of hurting someone, anyone except yourself? There are many miles of road and rays of sunlight and stardust ahead for you. Never should you wonder where your head will rest or where your soul will be safe. For I am always there, always watching over you, forever waiting for you to lay down your guard and ask me to answer your prayer.  Ask me to decide for you if you cannot choose or to see for you if you are blind. There is wisdom in the saying, “Whatsoever you have done to others has been done to you.”

Your karmic debt is but the measure of your guilt load. Your guilt load is too heavy for you to carry thus you are not able to act fearlessly in present time. For you put others before yourself in as much as you worry more about others than yourself. Yet there is no one else and guilt is not real. Give to yourself now, treat yourself well and watch your inner lotus-being, begin to flower. Your heart has laboured for a very long time and it would serve you now to relate only to those who do not frighten you. You must feel safe at this time in your life for so much is at stake. Be warm and watchful toward the parts of your body that play against you and ask yourself why you hate yourself so much that you would constantly use your body as your battleground.

Always in your own body can you find a reason to hate and feel lacking. You bring all of your guilt and shame to the surface when you relate to your body. Please relate to it kindly. Find more activities to enjoy and build strength, for you are still punishing your body by ingesting foods that are poison. Where did you lose this piece of your soul? What is the insidious guilt that controls you where sweetness is concerned? Where did you lose your sweetness? Why do you not laugh and play anymore – or is your heart as heavy as your body feels?

When you ingest poison I ask you to consider the child within who is starving. Who is she? It is time to find that missing girl and ask her what she needs. Ask her to forgive you for starving her. For whenever your innocent child arises, you weaken and starve her through eating the foods that you know will harm you. It is time to stop and commit to her well being.

But also will these poisons pad those parts of you that you are afraid to uncover. Why are you hiding the woman you have always said you wanted to be? Why do you sabotage? Where is your weakness in this regard? Stop now and let your beautiful one emerge.